Date: 20 June 2009 (Saturday)
It has been 2 months and 2 weeks since Granny was gone from our lives.. Though many of us seems to have let go of the major happening that had left a huge impact in our lives that had sudden us by sudden, the truth is that none of us had gotten over it at all.. Its like we seems to be trying to get on like the past, trying our best not to recall the painful event as often as we could.. The entire event had in fact really causes so much pain in our heart and its unlikely for us to let it go even as months passes by..
Throughout the 10 weeks, we had many gatherings that had bonded even closer than before.. We had pot-luck sessions, dinners and even bowling sessions.. The latest gathering for us would be the picnic cum BBQ tml (Sunday 21/6).. We are all trying our best to carry on our Granny's wish on being bonded together for a long long time even after she had left.. Our granny always likes it whenever we gathered together for family events.. Even though she had left us, she will always have a place deep in our heart..
I was talking to mum on Thursday night (18/6).. I asked her this question: " Mummy, do you think that whether anyone of us had really gotten over the fact that Granny really had left us??" She replied that she feels that even though 2 mths had passed, none of us in the Tan Family had really gotten over it at all.. I strongly agreed with what my mum said.. I mean, its like all of us in the Tan Family had not even accepted the truth that our beloved Granny is gone forever.. The pain that really occupies us deep inside, its something that we had not expected to face it so soon at all.. It all seems like a bad dream and we would all want to wake up from it.. Its simply too sudden, too quick for all these to happen.. None of us had expected for her to be gone from our lives so soon.. At least not in 2009 nor even the next few years.. Its so cruel and painful for all of us to face without us being prepared in any way..
I had always thought that we will always get to see her on sunday whenever my family goes over to my 2nd uncle's home to visit her.. It not like we had expected this to stop sudden.. All the laughter and dialect that we used to always hear from her, it all seems to have stopped too sudden.. Its like how come it just happen like that?? There was no warning or any last word at all.. Then she is gone from our lives.. All of us did not even get the chance to speak to her for the last time..
Why do we always have to be so ignorant??
Why do we always only learn to appreciate after it was gone??
Why is it that we always do stuff that we will only regret later??
Why didnt we thought of spending more times with our love ones??
Why do we never appreciate all the stuff that our love ones always does for us??
Why is it that we know that our love ones will leave us one day but yet we always take them for granted??
Why why why??
Would I ever get to see you in my dream again?
Whenever I think of you, tears would drop no matter where am I..
The hurt can only be hidden in our heart..
I really miss u very much Granny..
Misses you alot till it sometimes hurt..
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